Anyone But You - Pros and Cons w/ Alex Zappa

****/***** (3.5/6 stars)

The first of (hopefully) many- this is kind of a fun way to not completely spoil a movie while still giving some discord concerning what makes it superb and stupid. So, without further ado, here are the "Pro's" and "Con's" of Anyone But You.

PRO- Glen Powell.

Oh, Glen, it hasn't been that long but it feels that way? The last time we saw you in theatres was Devotion (22'), I saw it- a fly boys movie with GP?! Of course I am there?! (The fact that he's done 2 fly-boy flicks in Devotion and Top Gun already is the purest form of a chef's kiss I can give, not to mention he's got another Linklater project in the cue). That movie, Devotion, was not his "type" of movie. It made me question his movie star capabilities- I didn't think he brought enough emotion to a role that required a lot. He needed some nuance and I thought he was a bit to... stale? Even keeled maybe? Was that just his character? I doubt so. It was also his first time going back in time, maybe our beloved Glen P simply belongs in the present? Stay with us Glen, maybe don't go back to WWII again? Not to mention it flopped, 90 million budget, and only grossed about 20 back- he and one Jonathan Majors were top-billed and this is when Jonathan Majors was JONATHAN MAJORS. That was a yellow flag, not red, but it had some tint to it... But holy hell does he make Anyone But You sing when he's on screen. It reminds us of why we fell in love with him in the first place, the afore-referenced Anybody Wants Some (Linklater- college baseball flick), most people met him in Set It Up, the Netflix rom-com alongside Zoey Deutch, Lucy Liu, and Taye Diggs. (You ACTUALLY met him in The Dark Knight but his 3 seconds on screen is more like an easter egg than anything else.)

We've never seen him tango with someone who could match his sex appeal, and we'll get to one Sydney Sweeney in a bit, but to see them across from each other for essentially an hour is a pleasure unlike many you can experience in this life. It's why we go to the movies, to see hot people being hot doing hot shit, amongst other things... His smile, the energy, the charisma; he brought his complete tool belt, and he and Bob The Builder used every last one. At 35 he's certainly dotting the I's and crossing the T's to becoming a that guy in Hollywood. He's got a heralded Murderer/Killer movie with Linklater waiting for a buyer to be released widely (It was a hit at Sundance), and he's tapped to be the lead in Twisters this up-and-coming year, a stand-alone sequel to the epic Twister film of 96'. Lee Isaac Ching directing (Minari) and starring alongside Daisy Edgar-Jones (Normal People, Fresh), it's the type of blockbuster that should, hopefully, blockbuster. Glen Powell is the best thing in this movie and I think second place to him is a distance Victor Wembemyama would have a tough time covering (that's a basketball reference).

CON- The Premise

I'm not going to sit here and type to you that it's horrible, it isn't. We're in a full-fledged rom-com, okay, IT'S NOT SUPPOSE TO MAKE SENSE. But there is a point 15ish minutes in when we have a chance to right the wrongs that had been put in place 8 minutes earlier to set up our conflict for the movie and our characters just don't. say. anything... This turmoil could have been resolved so easily and yet since it's a rom-com we're just not going to do that- we'll take the full 90 minutes to do so. It's what stops this movie from being great. The indecisiveness of tone- It's not quite so in the bag that it's hammy, but yet it's real enough where a moment like I mentioned just doesn't make a whole lot of sense. This movie had a chance to have some legs to it, and I think it will be forgotten mostly because the central force of the movie was neither compelling enough, interesting enough, or creative enough to make us think twice about it. It'll be that movie Sydney Sweeney and Glen Powell did, I don't think much more. But hey, there are a trillion films that never even get that far.

PRO- THE CAST

This movie is dripping in beautiful people, but, I'm more so interested in the throwback candidates. May I interest anyone in Six Feet Under's Rachel Griffiths?! Nice to see you again, she is SO GOOD in 6 Feet, and while this movie gives her very little to do, we're still happy to see her still getting paid 20 years later. On a side note, me and my ex always wondered if her boobs were big- for an HBO show you were just never really sure. Following ABY, I can confirm that they are great and she makes a PERFECT mom for Hollywood's Queen Bombshell in Sydney Sweeney- wonderful casting. (In a completely ironic twist, she plays an American mom, in a movie set mainly in Australia, while she's literally from Australia in a cast full of Australians playing Australians- acting man).

It was a delight to see a, I'm fucking going for it, Dermot Mulroney going full-send every chance he got. He's having a lot of fun in this movie. You know him as the male lead in My Best Friend's Wedding of Julia Roberts fame. He was a bit of a one-note character this whole film but I enjoyed it. He's not playing a real person (we'll get to that too), probably the most inhuman character we have in this movie, but he commits and it somehow works. A credit to Dermot!

Bryan Brown from Cocktail! An Australian playing the Australian dad to one of the ladies of the lesbian couple that's getting married (that's good to note, this is a movie revolving around Sydney Sweeney's lesbian sister getting married to Glen Powell's girl best friend, who, is also lesbian). He, Bryan Brown, is so goddamn good in Cocktail, if you haven't seen it you should put it on right now- an incredible early Tom Cruise movie. But he's very much doing what Dermot Mulroney is doing too- these are not real people, these are people prevailing plot. Which leads me to-

CON- THE CHARACTERS

Again, I want to stress that I understand that this is a Rom-Com, it's a spoof! But, still, none of these people have an ounce of realism to them. Think of, for instance, My Best Friends Wedding, When Harry Met Sally, yes they're acting a bit extra, and sure would any of this happen in real life? Probably not, but the people themselves, the portrayals, given the circumstances, act in a way that at least makes some sort of sense. This movie, and its cast, are simply doing shit to move the story along, and while it's entertaining and I enjoyed sitting threw it, the lack of groundedness holds it back from leveling up. Rather, not moving this genre forward when it's felt stagnant for a while now. And it could have, that's the frustrating part when you have STARS and MONEY is that you have the opportunity to do something groundbreaking. This isn't that, but it's good- who doesn't like vanilla ice cream on a Tuesday, or, really any day?

PRO- BOOBS

This is a big boob movie. I mean that in a very literal way. We've mentioned the co-star, Sydney Sweeney, and she is famous for many things including her spectacular chest. Michael Jordan was amazing at basketball, and Sydney Sweeney has amazing tits- let's call it what it is, alright? But a newcomer almost outdoes her to me, one Charlee Fraser, who we see topless for maybe .7 seconds- but we get glimpses and glares of her great upper torso along the way too. An Australian model turned actor, she is yet another victim of the script. She has so much energy and passion behind those eye's and the story never quite gives her a chance to truly show us what she's got. But, back to breasts, EVERYONE is showing cleavage, the men are topless, and the women might as well be, this is an incredibly chest-positive movie. Sydney Sweeney, a producer on this film I might add (go get it lady), is 100% putting them out there and we are thankful for it. Hurray boobs.

CON- SYDNEY SWEENEY IN THIS ROLE

I want to make this 100% clear- SS is arguably my favorite 20's actress working and ANYONE saying she is a bad actor can fuck right off. See season 1 or 2 of Euphoria, in this past year's Reality on HBO she is remarkable. This young woman has already been Emmy nominated TWICE in the same year for her work on White Lotus and Euphoria. The chick can fucking act, alright? However, this is a tone and style she isn't quite masterful at YET. The beats, the timing, there's just a certain winkingness to it that Powell has down pat that Sweeney feels like she's still searching for. It's not that she's in the wrong movie per se, there are times when she gets laughs and people in the theatre are picking up what she was putting down- it's more so just a submission to the material that she can't quite do. She lacks consistency to the bit so to speak. MAYBE SHE'S JUST TOO DAMN GOOD FOR A ROM-COM. I primarily blame the script, but I'll say that Glen Powell is able to digest it better than she does. Something to work on, we all have those things, yeah?

PRO- THE SETTING

We're in Australia, and we feel it. The aerial shots, the landmarks- we're also hunkered down primarily at this MASSIVE house seemingly all to its lonesome on some wayward island or subsect of Australia. Will Gluck (Annie 14') directed this picture, and his Director of Photography was Danny Ruhlman (Foundation). This is easily both of their biggest projects and they didn't disappoint in this regard. Will is also a co-writer on the screenplay along with Llanna Wolpert- so he isn't totally spotless. But, hey, the film looks great. I'll add Australia to my "once I have money I'll travel to X" list.

CON- THE BURDEN OF DARREN BARNET

Darren Barnet plays Jonathan, the ex-fiance of Sydney Sweeney's character whom her parents adore, flew to Australia, and plot to get back together with their daughter. The reason he is on the con list is because the man is barely in the movie, and quite frankly a plot point we just didn't need. They did it because it's a rom-com, and they wanted to give each of Glen and Sydney a flame that would get in the way of their own together, but, it's just not well done. They have one, maybe two scenes, but he's essentially relegated to the background. It's a thankless part and Glen Powell just steamrolls him any chance he gets- which is actually funny but not in an intentional way. As someone who's been in a movie, booked a decent part, then saw it get torn down to bits I just possess a great deal of empathy for my future friend Darren Barnet, who, I'm sure was jacked about this role and movie and was lesser so after seeing it.

PRO- THE END CREDIT SEQUENCE

A song, which you'll know, plays a big part in the film. In the final credits, they essentially have the whole cast karaoke the song in all of these outtake scenes from throughout the movie. It's a great idea. As an actor, I can imagine doing 17 takes of a scene, being tired, and then some AD gets on mic and says "ALRIGHT, THAT WAS GREAT, NOW CUE UP THE MUSIC AND LET'S DO A RUN AT THAT SONG FOR THE CREDITS THING". Which, would kind of suck frankly. But, they all bought in and it sincerely makes for one of the best stretches of the movie (LOL). The pinnacle moment of this mashup is when Glen Powell is in a helicopter singing the song with the like helicopter attendant who is looking at Glen Powell like holy shit you're Glen Powell and we're doing this and I'm next to you and I'm just a day-player but I'm going to be telling my friends about this until I die. It's amazing. More movies need to put an emphasis on superb credits, BRAVO ABY.

CON- NOTHING

I'm done being negative. I had a great time, I'll watch it again in 3 years, and those were 10 combined Pro's and Con's of Anyone But You- if you're still reading THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU, and we'll do it again soon.